We continue our reflections on Amoris Laetitia with more of Camila Domonoske’s article on Pope Francis’s advice to spouses on relationships. Domonoske draws her material from throughout the document, but the heart of the Pope’s message to married couples is found in Chapter 4 on Love and Marriage. Jesuit Father Thomas Reese called the chapter “a masterpiece” and suggested that “It should be read by every couple planning to marry and every couple who has been married for no matter how many years.”
Appropriately the chapter begins with St. Paul’s inspiring passage on love from Chapter 13 of his First Letter to the Church at Corinth, which is probably the most frequently chosen first reading at weddings. The section is entitled Our Daily Love and that is precisely what Domonoske is reflecting on in her article. Here are a few more of her passages:
Never Go To Bed Angry: Hugs Can Help
My advice is never to let the day end without making peace in the family.” (104)
Francis writes, then quotes himself from 2015:
And how am I going to make peace? By getting down on my knees? No! Just by a small gesture, a little something, and harmony within your family will be restored. Just a little caress, no words are necessary.” (104)
Try To Find Your Partner Beautiful and Lovable … Even When They Make It Hard (113)
Loving another person involves the joy of contemplating and appreciating their innate beauty and sacredness, which is greater than my needs. This enables me to seek their good even when they cannot belong to me, or when they are no longer physically appealing but intrusive and annoying.” (127)
Don’t Hold Grudges
[Irritableness or resentment is] a violent reaction within, a hidden irritation that sets us on edge where others are concerned, as if they were troublesome or threatening and thus to be avoided. To nurture such interior hostility helps no one. It only causes hurt and alienation.” (103)
Say Please, Thank You and Sorry
Francis quotes a speech he gave in 2013:
Three phrases need to be used. I want to repeat this! Three simple phrases: ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, ‘Sorry’!: (266)
Let us not be stingy about using these words, but keep repeating them, day after day.” (133)
Trust Is Key
This goes beyond simply presuming that the other is not lying or cheating. … It means we do not have to control the other person, to follow their every step lest they escape our grip. Love trusts, it sets free, it does not try to control, possess and dominate everything. This freedom, which fosters independence, openness to the world around us and to new experiences, can only enrich and expand relationships.” (114)
Here I might add:
The family that prays together stays together. (227)
Emphasis should also be given to the importance of family spirituality, prayer and participation in the Sunday Eucharist, and couples encouraged to meet regularly to promote growth in their spiritual life and solidarity in the concrete demands of life.” (223)
Faithful love requires both prayer and work.
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Image credit: Vincent Miao on Flickr
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